It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
