We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
