If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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