24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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