I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
