I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
