Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
