I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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