real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're a waste of cheezeits
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
