Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
