I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
