bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
that's an acceptable place to lick
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
