you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
