I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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