Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
