I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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