It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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