it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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