I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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