she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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