You're so nebulous sometimes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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