We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize