TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
honey bunches of taint.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
