I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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