she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Watching her eat just hurts me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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