I swear she didn't look like that last week.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
