But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need a beard to bite.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
