Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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