My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
