is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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