i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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