WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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