Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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