Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
