I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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