He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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