then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
