You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
