please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize