I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
COCAINE IS GR8
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
