Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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