Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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