Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
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I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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