good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
