You just made me feel so damn special
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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