she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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