we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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