Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
