So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my poor anus
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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