she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
