you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
