I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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