i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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