It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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