last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize