i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
