Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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