I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
