ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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